A Conversation with R.W.

A Conversation with R.W.

The subject of pleasure and pain: are emotions that Spinoza writes about; and desire, pleasure and pain are three primary emotions and in which all emotions are derived from.

In my conversation with R.W. we discussed that we are either going towards pleasure or running from pain; most of us are running away from pain as a motivating force in our nature. We turn from pain by doing something that will offset our discomforts: we may smoke, drink, or eat excessively.

Negative behavior is that which is a hindrance to our health and well being: why we do the things we do may stem from a belief about who we imagine we are; we take on the beliefs and negative attitudes and examples from our parents, and in time we become just like them. Our siblings, our teachers, neighbors and so call friends also help shape our attitude about who we imagine we are. Our identity is borrowed; in essence we are lost and have no real solid “SELF or I.”

I asked RW what goals he planned for the new year of 2009: his answer was vague, unsure of himself. I mentioned that if he were on a sailing boat he would want to make sure there was a rudder to steer the boat in the direction he wanted, if there were no rudder the boat would flounder aimlessly: his answer, “if he were on a freeway, on the fast lane, and the traffic was bumper to bumper and his exit was just ahead and no one would let him pass; consequently, he wouldn’t be able to reach his destination.”

Thinking about R.W.’s answer puzzled me, and after time I came to this idea; RW may see himself in a limited way: such as, “life is nothing but obstacles and it’s impossible to make plans because they really don’t amount to much.” The vehicles that wouldn’t allow his car to pass to the outside lane so that he would not be able to exit and reach his destination: could also represent as mental obstacles or blocks that he believes are permanent. How did RW arrive at this? It’s possible that he took on negative self concepts passed down from parents and siblings. Being young impressionable children and if we are told something negative about ourselves and is repeated often enough, it becomes deeply rooted in our psychic. We believe it!

RW loves sail boats and if he were going on a trip out to sea, I’m confident he’ll be well prepared: planning the trip, knowing where he’ll be going, and the supplies he’ll take; visualizing the trip, and imagine the good times he’ll have would be fun and exciting: He understands the value of a compass, maps, radio, and life jacket, water and supplies. If RW would follow his love for his sail boat and apply this same discipline to other areas in his life: would his life be different? I think so!